( keith doesn't really know what else to say at the moment. he wasn't expecting lance means this and he needs a second to think about it and process what's actually happening right now. so, okay. lance wants to... do stuff. with him? for some reason.
like, on the one hand he gets it, what he's saying in that rambly mess — that is terrifying that he gets, by the way — because keith prefers a connection, too. but, on the other it's lance. there's a whole host of other things that can get in the way and mess a lot of things up. what if they don't like it? what if it just makes things unbearable between them? keith's lips dip into a deep frown; what if it ruins their friendship?
it's taken effort to get here. and keith doesn't make friends easily. for a long time he had none, then just one, then none again, then the one again but this time he got five others along the way. and isn't that what people say? Doing Stuff messes up friendships?
keith lifts his gaze to settle on lance and stares at him silently. his lips are set in a straight line again, tight at the corners and the look in his eyes is kind of far away. so, on the other hand, it doesn't really thrill him to do any of this stuff with someone he doesn't know. like, it really, really doesn't. it would just be weird and awkward and then every time he looked at a tree or something stupid, he'd be reminded of the embarrassing thing he did with a stranger. but, if they tried some stuff...
well, keith knows lance isn't exactly quiet when he doesn't like something. so, if it was weird, at least they have the comfort of knowing each other so they could say that openly that it's not working out. that's fine, right? to try and see what happens? ugh. he doesn't know what the right answer is, so instead of wasting any further time thinking about it, he's just going to forge ahead and do the keith way of things: acting without thinking. it's rare he puts a filter on his brain to mouth feature, so 🤷♀️ just gonna go for it. )
Okay. ( he looks a little surprised for a second, but then he blinks and actually looks at lance. ) We can try. But, if it's too weird, we probably shouldn't.
( he shifts a little, rubs the back of his hand over his forehead. )
Your friendship means a lot to me. ( lance gave him the t-word, and it's making keith feel some kind of way. ) And I don't want to mess that up. So, if we try it and you feel weird about it, you can tell me.
[ it's a long, loooong time before keith speaks up again. lance has already screwed his eyes shut, feeling like a total moron. he's embarrassed, sure, but more than that he fears he might have done something incredibly stupid and pushed keith away or something. does keith think he's a total pervert on top of being an actual idiot? who can blame him...
but when he speaks up again, lance lifts his head to watch the other quietly. he's holding his breath, not sure which way this is going to turn out, not sure which way he wants this to turn out... but keith's agreeing. lance didn't think it would happen, but he's agreeing.
but more than that, there's something he needs to address first. ]
Hey.
[ he gets up, crossing the distance between them till he's right in front of keith. he crouches down, making sure they're eye-level, because he wants keith to know he's 100% serious about this.
No matter what, we're always gonna be friends. I promise you that. You don't go through the kind of stuff we went through and not build something for life, you know?
I.. I know I said some things while we were out there floating around in space. I was mad, and I guess I never did get over you suddenly leaving me like that. [ me, not us. because at the end of the day, lance can't help but feel like he lost a friend more than the team had lost a leader. ] But I want you to know I didn't mean it. The last thing I want is to lose you again. So I promise, no matter what happens here... no matter what we end up having to do or choosing to do — we'll always be friends first.
[ he quiets a moment, and then chances a little smile. just a simple up-turn of the corner of his lips. ]
( in a broad sense of it, keith can understand where lance is coming from and why he feels mad keith left like he did. he gets it because it's why keith's always kept everyone at arm's length: he's afraid of losing them. it's easier to pretend there's distance because when they inevitably leave, he won't be hurt as much.
or, that's always the plan, but never the truth.
so, he still feels bad about it and looks away out of a bit of shame. there's still a lot of keith's own baggage about what happened back then that he's never talked about or dealt with and he feels bad about doing things how he did them. he knows he can't go back and change it, just try to keep moving forward and do things in better ways. he knows he's going to mess up along the way because he's not very good at stuff like that, but he's going to make every attempt to just do his best. )
It's okay. ( his tone is quiet and he's still not looking at lance again. ) I deserved it. More than that, probably.
( but, okay. he doesn't want to think about that anymore. which probably says something that he'd rather talk about sex stuff than about how what a shitty person he can be. )
But, ( ah. he shifts a little out of discomfort of having to be emotionally honest. he does finally drag his gaze over to lance again. ) I trust you. Too.
[ there's still a lot of feelings there, lance things. still a lot of questions. he still doesn't know why keith left, if he regrets it or regrets ever coming back. but he supposes there's time enough to talk about that later... things are already pretty heavy as it is. they could use a break. ]
Cool. [ cool. heck, what do you even say to that? lance is pretty sure he and keith just stepped into some new kind of territory — yes, separate from even the one where they more or less agreed they'd try doing stuff with each other for the sake of survival. it feels like something more... something a lot more permanent.
he clears his throat and shifts to stand again. ]
Why don't we eat first, huh? [ he walks over to the spread. ] I dunno about you, but I'm starving. I was too busy eyeing the food and warning people about them to really pay attention to what they did to people...
( cool?? that's all he gets after saying something like that? 😤 well, fine. ...but, okay, also? keith knows lance enough to know he doesn't mean anything by it and that he's likely feeling as awkward about things as keith is. and not even about Doing Stuff™, but the emotional stuff. that's a danger, will robinson.
keith stays where he is and lifts a hand to wave lance on to partake in their little feast. that is what it's there for, after all. )
I watched people there to see what would happen. ( he shrugs a little impassively ) I was too hungry.
( please don't take that the wrong way...!!! )
Then we just started bringing stuff back here before things got... ( he waves his hand to explain; he's sure lance knows, he has those pillows. )
( no, it's totally fine. be dismissive this time. it's likely for the best. too much is going to overload keith and since they have to discuss something really delicate, it's likely for the best.
he can already feel heat creeping up the back of his neck at that question and he doesn't know what to do for a second. he was in the process of standing up and then just stopped so he's in this awkward position of half doing both. now seems like a bad time to start taking off his armor suddenly.
so. he just sits back down, swallows around the tightness in his throat, and just sort of nods. )
We can do it tomorrow — whatever makes you comfortable, man!
[ personally, lance doesn't think it would matter if they did it now, later, whenever. it's still going to be awkward, but he's trying to be as clinical about this as possible. someone has to pull off the bandaid, and he figures it would have to be him.
he turns back around and stuffs a bit more food in his mouth. just to, you know, keep his foot company in there. ]
( well, lance should know that once keith decides to move forward with something, it's going to happen. there are no takebacks in his kingdom. if they're going to actually try this, they need to talk about it.
sure, it's more awkward that way, but... as close friends as they might be, there's a line they haven't crossed. they haven't even talked about this kind of thing before even in relation to other people. so, yeah. it's awkward at every and any angle it's looked at.
but, okay. this isn't just awkward for him, he has to put his leader pants on and try and make lance comfortable, too. shiro would know how to deal with this better and say something inspirational or whatever. but, keith's never been big on that and is very much a realist. )
Hey, it's not just me, you know. Your comfort matters just as much as mine.
( this time he does stand up and crosses over to him. just out of arm's reach so he doesn't crowd him or make him feel like this is something aggressive, but more of an outreach, kind of, to show he's there. )
[ he turns when he hears keith finally stand, though he isn't expecting the man to suddenly be there right behind him. he winds up swallowing the bits of food he'd had stuffed in his mouth without properly chewing on it, so his gulp rings out loudly and hurts all the way down. ]
I know, [ he says after a while, reassuring. ] I just figured, since it was my idea and all... [ he trails off, shrugging his shoulders. since it's his idea, he should bear the brunt of the struggle, right? ]
But — yeah. Sure. Might as well rip that band-aid off, right?
[ he's a little grateful to be able to turn to his bracelet, just so he wouldn't have to maintain any more awkward eye-contact. it takes him a moment to work it properly, but eventually he gets his card pulled up. he clears his throat, bright pink in the cheeks as a result. ]
keith doesn't know what he was expecting from that, but well. he certainly got it, didn't he? before he even looks at lance's properly, he turns his his bracelet and pulls up his card. fair is fair. but, then he gives lance's a good look. if it's any consolation, his face is flushed because this is kind of still embarrassing. )
Well, we have eleven in common. So, that might be good news?
Heh, yeah eleven out of twenty-four's not bad. [ pause. ] Statistically.
But, uh. That's okay! We can figure it out. I'm sure someone... does... [ or they can try asking the robots, but also he does not want to ask the robots.
he scans both holographs to try and find something... tame enough... that they can start off with. though he means "start off with" very loosely here, because of course they are both always able to put a stop to this at any time! even after one! even before one!
his card's kind of a lost cause though. what even gives.
almost desperately, he points to a tile on keith's. ]
Oh, look! Cuddling! That's pretty simple, right? [ safe ] We can test it out with that one.
( statistically, that is good, isn't it? that'll make things a little easier? maybe? god. he honestly doesn't know. nothing is going to make this easier. even when they were both tainted with space hornies it wasn't easier to talk about.
is it just going to be weird this whole time? maybe it was a mistake. if they can't even talk about it without feeling awkward and weird, maybe it' just a lost cause? ugh. he doesn't know. he doesn't know anything.
anyway, he inwardly sighs a little and wonders how they're going to get through this. the bracelet gets turned off and he nods because that does seem the safest at the moment. if they can't touch each other in such a tame way, how is anything else going to work? )
Right, simple. ( he looks at lance 🥺 ) How do you want to do it?
[ simple. easy. easy peasy lemon squeezy. that's the mantra lance is going to keep repeating in his head, over and over again, because if he allows himself even a moment's worth of true doubt he's going to cave and take it all back in a desperate attempt to retain what kind of normal they'd had.
so he plows on, smiling his reassurance. ]
Uh. Well. Cuddling's usually done lying down, right? And now we got this nice [ ish ] bed to test out, so...
( at this point there probably isn't any way to return to "normal." the conversation's already been brought up, so that's already tipped the scales. nevermind how things went their first night here. so.
yeah.
anyway.
keith glances over his shoulder toward the bed, stares at it, shifts his gaze to kosmo who doesn't offer any kind of help, then looks back at lance. he shrugs and moves away to begin taking his armor off. )
Okay.
( he pauses for a second and looks at the bed again. )
We should probably be careful on that thing. ( 🤔 ) Maybe try and steal a couple more blankets to put the mattress on? Knowing this place I think it might break suddenly.
[ that's what lance wants to cling onto, though — the fact that despite how their first night went, they're still able to talk like this... be friends... it's hopeful, or so he thinks.
but, truthfully, he knows things have changed. maybe not fundamentally, maybe not where it matters most, but things have definitely shifted out of place. (or, maybe, they're on their way to shifting into place?) either way, lance notices things. notices the way he notices keith removing his armor, and how his eyes linger a little, curious. like a tiny little seed has been planted, and lance's brain is churning it over in his mind, wondering if it should nurture it or not...
he clears his throat, grabs a water bottle. ]
Yeah, I'm inclined to just getting rid of the frame altogether. We could be like proper college kids with a studio apartment, living the mattress-on-the-floor life.
( if the arguments they've had int he past isn't enough to shake their friendship, surely this won't be either.
lol.
after getting his armor off, keith stands there looking at the bed with his hands on his hips. he should've thought ahead or even just thought about this a little bit more. oh well. he scrunches up the blankets he'd put on so they're balled up in the middle and then he just shoves the mattress until it starts to tip off the other side. he manages to catch it before everything falls off and then he kicks the bedframe out of the way. it wobbles and makes a horrible cracking noise, but somehow still stays together. but, it gets dragged out of the way and the mattress put in the same place and keith goes through the process of "making" the bed again. )
I guess we can break down the frame and use some of it for firewood.
[ lance finishes off an entire water bottle as keith messes with the mattress, realizing only afterwards that he maybe should have probably helped. ]
Why not? Who knows what the weather's gonna be like in this place...
[ lance does his part after being completely useless and kicks at the bedframe to begin breaking down the larger pieces into smaller kindling. honestly, it doesn't take that very many sharp jabs with the heel of his boot before most of it crumbles, and then he's shoving them to make a neat pile in the corner of the room.
when he comes back, he stares at the mattress for a moment, then at keith. ]
Well? [ he offers a crooked smile, gesturing to the bed. ] Mullets first.
( yeah, this is going to be awkward no matter which way they do it. especially starting in such a strange way; a scheduled cuddling. it's weird, right?
then again, keith doesn't really have any idea how this sort of thing works. do people schedule this kind of thing? maybe. whatever. he needs to stop thinking about this so much, that isn't like him. he's just gotta do this.
it's fine.
so, he gets on the bed and lays there stiff as a board. no, jk. he does lay on his back, though, because he's not sure if they're going front to back or front to front. back to back doesn't seem reasonable for cuddling. he lifts a brow at lance, almost challenging in nature. that's closer to normal, at least. they can both understand that much. )
[ lance pauses with a knee on the mattress, blinking as he lifts a hand to curiously paw at the back of his neck. his hair has started to curl around there, as it's wont to when it gets too long. dang... somehow he never had to really worry about it in space, but now he's wondering if he can find a pair or scissors or something. ]
Yeah, well... it'll even out.
[ hmph.
he moves to take up a spot beside keith, realizing that the mattress itself appears to be either a full or queen size. definitely not a king, but space isn't really necessary for their purposes right now. in fact, it's the opposite of what's needed.
he clears his throat a little, inching a little closer. there's only about a few centimeters left between them, lance on his side and head propped up by an arm. ]
( keith just hums in response, because what does that even mean. lance is gonna have his own mini-mullet soon enough. it'll be fun. keith will finally be able to make fun of him for it.
but, okay. so. this is really happening. indeed.
indeed, indeed, indeed, indeed.
he wets his lips for a second — definitely not out of nervousness, shut up — and shakes his head. does he have a preference? not really. he's never done this kind of thing with another human before so, he has no idea what might be best or what he might like best. kosmo just lets keith flop all over him so that doesn't help all that much. he's probably staring at lance for too long without saying anything while being this close together so he just shifts on his side to turn his back to lance. )
Might be less awkward if we're not facing each other.
[ lance stares at the back of keith's head for a good, long moment, trying to psyche himself up. it's really not a big deal, in the grand scheme of things. the tamest in both their cards, and not even something lance himself hadn't unwittingly done with hunk himself before, back during long nights of studying at the garrison.
it's fine. it's fine. ]
Alrighty, uh. Here I come...
[ in retrospect, probably not the best thing to be saying in this situation, but. he's a little too focused, in the moment, on scooting closer until he has aligned his body with keith's as best as possible. he's... still not exactly touching the other man, save for the one arm that slings over his side. they've agreed to do this, but he still feels kind of weird getting too close, like he's taking liberties or something. ]
( no, it's... really not the best phrasing in this situation, but it's also kind of expected? in a way? because this is really awkward and there's not much to be done to diffuse the situation until they manage to get used to touching each other in a more intimate sort of way.
and, really, this is the most innocent of ways.
keith tries to be relaxed, but he's not. his entire body is tense as he waits for lance to tuck right on in against him... but that doesn't really happen. he can feel him there, hovering sort of, and his arm is there so they're sort of touching. but, this feels... not great? this can't be right. so, keith huffs a sigh and backs up so they're completely flush up against one another. he's pretty sure they have to do more than just lance's arm slung over him for it to count for anything. )
Pretty sure we have to actually touch for it to work, Lance.
[ no, no he was not. but the deed has been done, so to speak, and so there's nothing more he can do than just settle into it as best as he can. carefully, he shifts just so he's fitting up a little better, so the curve of their spines and their legs align. it's — weird — but he'd been expecting that. though it's less weird because of how it feels, and more weird because of why they have to do this. lance wouldn't consider himself particularly touch-starved, but the desire to be close to someone is something he's always had... so it's a shame that now that he finally has it after so long, it's because they have to do it, and not because they want to.
ah well.
carefully, he shifts his arm around so that it rests a little more comfortable around keith. his hand winds up idly and loosely wrapping around the wrist of one of keith's hands, while he keeps his other arm tucked under his head and he blinks sleepily at the dark tufts of keith's hair. the more he wills himself to relax, the heavier his body seems to feel. he thinks he could actually fall asleep like this. ]
( yeah, okay. sure he was. but, keith would agree that yes, this is really weird. although... keith's thinking it for kind of different reasons. because at least for keith, and not that he'd ever say this about himself, but he is more or less touch-starved. it's never been something easy for him to do, and for a long time shiro was the only one who would constantly reach out to him. but, he'd like to think that at least he and lance were heading in that direction? unless he was imagining the whole thing, but he's pretty sure their friendship was getting stronger — floating in space fight notwithstanding.
keith just stares out into the dark room at the opposite wall, seeing but not really seeing anything as he gets used to the weight of lance's arm around him and the press of his body behind him. maybe the weirdest thing of all is that even though this is awkward, is that it doesn't feel so strange to do this. not to keith, anyway. he doesn't mind it. )
Yeah. ( his tone is low, not a whisper or anything, but definitely something to not disturbe the stillness of the moment. ) I'm okay. What about you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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oh.
oh. )
Oh.
( keith doesn't really know what else to say at the moment. he wasn't expecting lance means this and he needs a second to think about it and process what's actually happening right now. so, okay. lance wants to... do stuff. with him? for some reason.
like, on the one hand he gets it, what he's saying in that rambly mess — that is terrifying that he gets, by the way — because keith prefers a connection, too. but, on the other it's lance. there's a whole host of other things that can get in the way and mess a lot of things up. what if they don't like it? what if it just makes things unbearable between them? keith's lips dip into a deep frown; what if it ruins their friendship?
it's taken effort to get here. and keith doesn't make friends easily. for a long time he had none, then just one, then none again, then the one again but this time he got five others along the way. and isn't that what people say? Doing Stuff messes up friendships?
keith lifts his gaze to settle on lance and stares at him silently. his lips are set in a straight line again, tight at the corners and the look in his eyes is kind of far away. so, on the other hand, it doesn't really thrill him to do any of this stuff with someone he doesn't know. like, it really, really doesn't. it would just be weird and awkward and then every time he looked at a tree or something stupid, he'd be reminded of the embarrassing thing he did with a stranger. but, if they tried some stuff...
well, keith knows lance isn't exactly quiet when he doesn't like something. so, if it was weird, at least they have the comfort of knowing each other so they could say that openly that it's not working out. that's fine, right? to try and see what happens? ugh. he doesn't know what the right answer is, so instead of wasting any further time thinking about it, he's just going to forge ahead and do the keith way of things: acting without thinking. it's rare he puts a filter on his brain to mouth feature, so 🤷♀️ just gonna go for it. )
Okay. ( he looks a little surprised for a second, but then he blinks and actually looks at lance. ) We can try. But, if it's too weird, we probably shouldn't.
( he shifts a little, rubs the back of his hand over his forehead. )
Your friendship means a lot to me. ( lance gave him the t-word, and it's making keith feel some kind of way. ) And I don't want to mess that up. So, if we try it and you feel weird about it, you can tell me.
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but when he speaks up again, lance lifts his head to watch the other quietly. he's holding his breath, not sure which way this is going to turn out, not sure which way he wants this to turn out... but keith's agreeing. lance didn't think it would happen, but he's agreeing.
but more than that, there's something he needs to address first. ]
Hey.
[ he gets up, crossing the distance between them till he's right in front of keith. he crouches down, making sure they're eye-level, because he wants keith to know he's 100% serious about this.
No matter what, we're always gonna be friends. I promise you that. You don't go through the kind of stuff we went through and not build something for life, you know?
I.. I know I said some things while we were out there floating around in space. I was mad, and I guess I never did get over you suddenly leaving me like that. [ me, not us. because at the end of the day, lance can't help but feel like he lost a friend more than the team had lost a leader. ] But I want you to know I didn't mean it. The last thing I want is to lose you again. So I promise, no matter what happens here... no matter what we end up having to do or choosing to do — we'll always be friends first.
[ he quiets a moment, and then chances a little smile. just a simple up-turn of the corner of his lips. ]
Scout's honor.
[ now you know he's good for it, keith. ]
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or, that's always the plan, but never the truth.
so, he still feels bad about it and looks away out of a bit of shame. there's still a lot of keith's own baggage about what happened back then that he's never talked about or dealt with and he feels bad about doing things how he did them. he knows he can't go back and change it, just try to keep moving forward and do things in better ways. he knows he's going to mess up along the way because he's not very good at stuff like that, but he's going to make every attempt to just do his best. )
It's okay. ( his tone is quiet and he's still not looking at lance again. ) I deserved it. More than that, probably.
( but, okay. he doesn't want to think about that anymore. which probably says something that he'd rather talk about sex stuff than about how what a shitty person he can be. )
But, ( ah. he shifts a little out of discomfort of having to be emotionally honest. he does finally drag his gaze over to lance again. ) I trust you. Too.
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Cool. [ cool. heck, what do you even say to that? lance is pretty sure he and keith just stepped into some new kind of territory — yes, separate from even the one where they more or less agreed they'd try doing stuff with each other for the sake of survival. it feels like something more... something a lot more permanent.
he clears his throat and shifts to stand again. ]
Why don't we eat first, huh? [ he walks over to the spread. ] I dunno about you, but I'm starving. I was too busy eyeing the food and warning people about them to really pay attention to what they did to people...
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keith stays where he is and lifts a hand to wave lance on to partake in their little feast. that is what it's there for, after all. )
I watched people there to see what would happen. ( he shrugs a little impassively ) I was too hungry.
( please don't take that the wrong way...!!! )
Then we just started bringing stuff back here before things got... ( he waves his hand to explain; he's sure lance knows, he has those pillows. )
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[ to put it mildly.
but look! don't take his response there as dismissive or anything — he's just trying to be considerate and not pile on too much at once, okay?
he'll help himself to some of the meat and cheese, turning back around to face keith and lean against the desk as he chews thoughtfully. ]
Do you, uh... wanna spend some time tonight looking over each other's cards?
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he can already feel heat creeping up the back of his neck at that question and he doesn't know what to do for a second. he was in the process of standing up and then just stopped so he's in this awkward position of half doing both. now seems like a bad time to start taking off his armor suddenly.
so. he just sits back down, swallows around the tightness in his throat, and just sort of nods. )
Right. Yeah, sure. That... makes the most sense.
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[ yeah, lance is just going to... backpedal. ]
We can do it tomorrow — whatever makes you comfortable, man!
[ personally, lance doesn't think it would matter if they did it now, later, whenever. it's still going to be awkward, but he's trying to be as clinical about this as possible. someone has to pull off the bandaid, and he figures it would have to be him.
he turns back around and stuffs a bit more food in his mouth. just to, you know, keep his foot company in there. ]
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sure, it's more awkward that way, but... as close friends as they might be, there's a line they haven't crossed. they haven't even talked about this kind of thing before even in relation to other people. so, yeah. it's awkward at every and any angle it's looked at.
but, okay. this isn't just awkward for him, he has to put his leader pants on and try and make lance comfortable, too. shiro would know how to deal with this better and say something inspirational or whatever. but, keith's never been big on that and is very much a realist. )
Hey, it's not just me, you know. Your comfort matters just as much as mine.
( this time he does stand up and crosses over to him. just out of arm's reach so he doesn't crowd him or make him feel like this is something aggressive, but more of an outreach, kind of, to show he's there. )
We can do it now if you're okay with it.
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I know, [ he says after a while, reassuring. ] I just figured, since it was my idea and all... [ he trails off, shrugging his shoulders. since it's his idea, he should bear the brunt of the struggle, right? ]
But — yeah. Sure. Might as well rip that band-aid off, right?
[ he's a little grateful to be able to turn to his bracelet, just so he wouldn't have to maintain any more awkward eye-contact. it takes him a moment to work it properly, but eventually he gets his card pulled up. he clears his throat, bright pink in the cheeks as a result. ]
So, uh. That's me.
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keith doesn't know what he was expecting from that, but well. he certainly got it, didn't he? before he even looks at lance's properly, he turns his his bracelet and pulls up his card. fair is fair. but, then he gives lance's a good look. if it's any consolation, his face is flushed because this is kind of still embarrassing. )
Well, we have eleven in common. So, that might be good news?
( keith. none of? this???? is GOOD NEWS???
he groans and rubs his hand over his face. )
I don't even know what some of these are, Lance.
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But, uh. That's okay! We can figure it out. I'm sure someone... does... [ or they can try asking the robots, but also he does not want to ask the robots.
he scans both holographs to try and find something... tame enough... that they can start off with. though he means "start off with" very loosely here, because of course they are both always able to put a stop to this at any time! even after one! even before one!
his card's kind of a lost cause though. what even gives.
almost desperately, he points to a tile on keith's. ]
Oh, look! Cuddling! That's pretty simple, right? [ safe ] We can test it out with that one.
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( statistically, that is good, isn't it? that'll make things a little easier? maybe? god. he honestly doesn't know. nothing is going to make this easier. even when they were both tainted with space hornies it wasn't easier to talk about.
is it just going to be weird this whole time? maybe it was a mistake. if they can't even talk about it without feeling awkward and weird, maybe it' just a lost cause? ugh. he doesn't know. he doesn't know anything.
anyway, he inwardly sighs a little and wonders how they're going to get through this. the bracelet gets turned off and he nods because that does seem the safest at the moment. if they can't touch each other in such a tame way, how is anything else going to work? )
Right, simple. ( he looks at lance 🥺 ) How do you want to do it?
( heh )
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so he plows on, smiling his reassurance. ]
Uh. Well. Cuddling's usually done lying down, right? And now we got this nice [ ish ] bed to test out, so...
[ he gestures vaguely in its direction. ]
We could try it when we go to sleep tonight?
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yeah.
anyway.
keith glances over his shoulder toward the bed, stares at it, shifts his gaze to kosmo who doesn't offer any kind of help, then looks back at lance. he shrugs and moves away to begin taking his armor off. )
Okay.
( he pauses for a second and looks at the bed again. )
We should probably be careful on that thing. ( 🤔 ) Maybe try and steal a couple more blankets to put the mattress on? Knowing this place I think it might break suddenly.
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but, truthfully, he knows things have changed. maybe not fundamentally, maybe not where it matters most, but things have definitely shifted out of place. (or, maybe, they're on their way to shifting into place?) either way, lance notices things. notices the way he notices keith removing his armor, and how his eyes linger a little, curious. like a tiny little seed has been planted, and lance's brain is churning it over in his mind, wondering if it should nurture it or not...
he clears his throat, grabs a water bottle. ]
Yeah, I'm inclined to just getting rid of the frame altogether. We could be like proper college kids with a studio apartment, living the mattress-on-the-floor life.
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lol.
after getting his armor off, keith stands there looking at the bed with his hands on his hips. he should've thought ahead or even just thought about this a little bit more. oh well. he scrunches up the blankets he'd put on so they're balled up in the middle and then he just shoves the mattress until it starts to tip off the other side. he manages to catch it before everything falls off and then he kicks the bedframe out of the way. it wobbles and makes a horrible cracking noise, but somehow still stays together. but, it gets dragged out of the way and the mattress put in the same place and keith goes through the process of "making" the bed again. )
I guess we can break down the frame and use some of it for firewood.
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Why not? Who knows what the weather's gonna be like in this place...
[ lance does his part after being completely useless and kicks at the bedframe to begin breaking down the larger pieces into smaller kindling. honestly, it doesn't take that very many sharp jabs with the heel of his boot before most of it crumbles, and then he's shoving them to make a neat pile in the corner of the room.
when he comes back, he stares at the mattress for a moment, then at keith. ]
Well? [ he offers a crooked smile, gesturing to the bed. ] Mullets first.
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then again, keith doesn't really have any idea how this sort of thing works. do people schedule this kind of thing? maybe. whatever. he needs to stop thinking about this so much, that isn't like him. he's just gotta do this.
it's fine.
so, he gets on the bed and lays there stiff as a board. no, jk. he does lay on his back, though, because he's not sure if they're going front to back or front to front. back to back doesn't seem reasonable for cuddling. he lifts a brow at lance, almost challenging in nature. that's closer to normal, at least. they can both understand that much. )
Your hair's getting pretty long, too, you know.
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Yeah, well... it'll even out.
[ hmph.
he moves to take up a spot beside keith, realizing that the mattress itself appears to be either a full or queen size. definitely not a king, but space isn't really necessary for their purposes right now. in fact, it's the opposite of what's needed.
he clears his throat a little, inching a little closer. there's only about a few centimeters left between them, lance on his side and head propped up by an arm. ]
So, uh... You have a preference?
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but, okay. so. this is really happening. indeed.
indeed, indeed, indeed, indeed.
he wets his lips for a second — definitely not out of nervousness, shut up — and shakes his head. does he have a preference? not really. he's never done this kind of thing with another human before so, he has no idea what might be best or what he might like best. kosmo just lets keith flop all over him so that doesn't help all that much. he's probably staring at lance for too long without saying anything while being this close together so he just shifts on his side to turn his back to lance. )
Might be less awkward if we're not facing each other.
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it's fine. it's fine. ]
Alrighty, uh. Here I come...
[ in retrospect, probably not the best thing to be saying in this situation, but. he's a little too focused, in the moment, on scooting closer until he has aligned his body with keith's as best as possible. he's... still not exactly touching the other man, save for the one arm that slings over his side. they've agreed to do this, but he still feels kind of weird getting too close, like he's taking liberties or something. ]
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and, really, this is the most innocent of ways.
keith tries to be relaxed, but he's not. his entire body is tense as he waits for lance to tuck right on in against him... but that doesn't really happen. he can feel him there, hovering sort of, and his arm is there so they're sort of touching. but, this feels... not great? this can't be right. so, keith huffs a sigh and backs up so they're completely flush up against one another. he's pretty sure they have to do more than just lance's arm slung over him for it to count for anything. )
Pretty sure we have to actually touch for it to work, Lance.
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[ no, no he was not. but the deed has been done, so to speak, and so there's nothing more he can do than just settle into it as best as he can. carefully, he shifts just so he's fitting up a little better, so the curve of their spines and their legs align. it's — weird — but he'd been expecting that. though it's less weird because of how it feels, and more weird because of why they have to do this. lance wouldn't consider himself particularly touch-starved, but the desire to be close to someone is something he's always had... so it's a shame that now that he finally has it after so long, it's because they have to do it, and not because they want to.
ah well.
carefully, he shifts his arm around so that it rests a little more comfortable around keith. his hand winds up idly and loosely wrapping around the wrist of one of keith's hands, while he keeps his other arm tucked under his head and he blinks sleepily at the dark tufts of keith's hair. the more he wills himself to relax, the heavier his body seems to feel. he thinks he could actually fall asleep like this. ]
...How're you doing? This okay?
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keith just stares out into the dark room at the opposite wall, seeing but not really seeing anything as he gets used to the weight of lance's arm around him and the press of his body behind him. maybe the weirdest thing of all is that even though this is awkward, is that it doesn't feel so strange to do this. not to keith, anyway. he doesn't mind it. )
Yeah. ( his tone is low, not a whisper or anything, but definitely something to not disturbe the stillness of the moment. ) I'm okay. What about you?
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